The moment I wrote “the year that was” my inner voice sounded with an ever familiar phrase “there is only now” and I smile inside. “Of course there is only now” I reply to no one in particular. And yet the traces of the energy of the Now that seems to have gone before linger in seeming memories of a past.
Truly as I look out, all signs point to the New Year, celebrating the opportunity to begin again; a new cycle. The paradox we constantly live ever before me as in one moment the experience of all times and places is felt at once beneath my awareness while the consciousness notices only the chronological movement of time, the patterns and cycles that mark time’s seeming passage. Such it is that a year has passed apparently by, a kaleidoscope of memories available for reflection.
Part of me wonders where I have been. Something in my energy and being has changed this past year. Certainly for the better but also undeniably altering the course my life had been on. Before I had been a mass of words and writing, so many feelings and thoughts. It has not stopped, my mind and heart are always full, but anymore it does not seem to be of thinking as much as waves of information rolling by and my consciousness taking notice. At times it seems as though day and night and dreaming and waking are all blended together so fluidly that it is difficult to decipher in what place certain events occurred. The Now has become the ultimate moment, so difficult to write because the experience is always happening. “So what of the reflections of the past?”, I say within myself as the very real images of the previous cycle return to my mind. To this I hear in answer “this is as much of the darkness as your light has yet shined on”.
Indeed this reflection resonates deeply within my being. Light itself is traveling, it has a measured speed which covers over 5 trillion miles in a year’s time. As without, so within. A certainty fills me that at some point this consciousness as all others will perpetually illuminate the Now with the happenings of all time. The illusion of time can only be shattered by experiencing the paradox first hand, and awareness cannot come until the light of experience has reached those darkened corners of the Eternal Mind. So we live, so we experience and evolve.
Life has become a constant metaphor opening me to what is happening beyond our constant judgments and labels. Beyond the need to secure within our own minds a game plan and a list of goals to be sure we are always in control. Even when we let go it seems secret inner parts of ourselves cling to these fleeting securities. In recent years past these were the things I discovered within myself time and again. Slowly circling in my evolution, letting go a little at a time. Not always because I wanted to, but sometimes because I was faced with undeniable truths that shook me deeply to the core of my being.
We make of life what it is and that is the truth. We reap the energy in the harvest time of the seeds we planted at the beginning of the cycle. There is only now, only now to build, only now to be. This morning a man walked into the coffee shop where a friend and I were waiting for our order and announced to the whole room of patrons his list of goals for this new year. Many of us cheered and applauded as he finished and exited quickly, some quietly eye-rolled each other and laughed at their secret joke. I was inspired. Here was someone who had done some reflection and found within himself the power to change the way he went about doing things. Whether his efforts to rid the world of plastic drinking straws will make a large or small impact is to me less important than his willingness to believe in himself, to assess his previous year and decide that he will utilize the power of this new cycle to accomplish more than he did before.
Imagine if each of us could have so much excitement for our cause what the world could look like in one-year’s time. Imagine if each of those eye-rolls of judgment could realize their secret wish to be just as emboldened as that man, not fearing the judgment of anyone in that room. Imagine if everyone in that room stopped judging altogether. In past times for me there have been fears of these secret judgments but again something significant is different in me now. I watch with great interest as my fellow humans share their stories in endless variety. I am reminded there is always Now to begin. The reflections of the year that was have brought me to a place of deeper awareness and understanding than I ever before could have imagined. A great deal of peace and contentment have come along with that. This new season prompts me to share more of this knowledge in an effort to spread this peace and contentment.